MY STORY

I'm new to this blog, So i'm working to make it better, but this is my story
I love to hear this song.

My life truly ended when I found out 7 years ago that I suffered Infertility.  I went for my usual Gynecologist appointment and I got the news that any woman would hate to hear. He simply said Lacey we have bad news, my heart simply dropped to the floor I could only imagine what it could have been I was only 15 years old, what could it be ? He said you cannot have kids,but we are not god. I simply hung my head down and felt ashamed but why ? Why did he put it so simple so mean I thought in my head. After I got the new's I found out that I had cysts on my ovaries and very many more complications with my tubes.  From that day forward my life ended, my heart was broken to little pieces and how could it be restored? If I ever got married would my husband understand? would he still love me because I cant have his child?  I ended up meeting my high school sweetheart my senior year we have been together for four years now and married for two of those four years. He is very understanding, but really refuses to talk about BABIES I haven't been on any birth control or we haven't used protection in four years and no luck. I simply tell myself over and over again maybe this is our month, the sorrow that fills within my heart is unexplainable.  I tell myself maybe one day A miracle will happen or WILL IT ? Days seem to run together sometimes and thoughts turn to tears that will not stop. Some day's I just tell myself I have to be happy for not only myself , but for my MARRIAGE. Me and my husband have a dog that is almost two year's Ive had him since he was born, he has taken the pain away and covers my heart with joy, but here lately I feel like he doesn't love me as much. I don't know why I feel this way . Sometimes I don't even understand myself. I love kid's so much my heart feels with joy when I see them but here lately I cant even hold kids barely look at them without tears in my eyes.  I would die for that one chance to hold a baby in my arms.  To see my husband have one of his own to hold and to love would feel my heart with more love than I could ever understand.